Who Am I

I have a confession to make. One of my guilty pleasures in life is kung fu movies. The older movies, where the English is dubbed, have fighting effects that are overdone, and the plotline has been repeated almost as often as in the average Hallmark movie. I enjoy Bruce Lee movies, as well as Jackie Chan, who has made numerous contributions to the genre. One of my favorite movies of his is Who Am I?.

If you haven’t seen it, a plane carrying top-secret military soldiers crashes in the jungle on a mission. When one of them wakes up, he has no memory of who he is, and he stumbles back into the mission as he tries to learn his identity. When asked his identity, he replied with a question, “Who am I?” Because of this, a sort of “Who’s on first” moment played out, and the name “WhoamI” was given to him. At times, it produced some comical reactions, but more often than not, it was frustrating for him.

How many times have you been there? Well, at least from a metaphorical perspective? Over the next week or so, I will explore identity. Now, I am not a psychiatrist or counselor, I’m just a simple person who views things from “a certain point of view.” However, instead of listening to the voices in your head, let’s look at something more concrete.

The Bible has a lot to say about identity. If you’ve been through the Bible, you probably have a preferred statement that you go to. For today, I want to look at a different passage, one that I’ve recently learned addresses identity.

In John chapter 5, Jesus returns to Jerusalem. He approaches a paralyzed man lying by a pool of mercy near the Sheep Gate. Jesus knew that this man had been like that for 38 years, more on that in a moment. There was the belief that when the waters of the pool of Bethesda were stirred, it was caused by an Angel, and the first person who made it into the water would be healed. Jesus asked the man something bordering on inane. “Do you want to get well? Do you really want to be healed (or be made whole)?”

The man doesn’t answer the question. Instead, he comments that he has nobody to help him get into the water. I believe that if I had been in that situation, I would have said, “Yes!” instead of replying with that statement. Despite that, Jesus replies, “Stand up! Pick up your mat and walk.” I have to give props to the man because that’s what he did.

Let’s look at identity in this story.

First, the man was paralyzed. Whether it’s positive or negative, people shape their identity in various ways, and a main source is whatever situation they are in at that moment. If they are single, happily married, unhappily married, attending school, whatever hobby they like to do, etc, that is a basis for what their identity is formed on. In this instance, the man had been paralyzed for 38 years. That was the same length of time that the Israelites wandered in the wilderness. (Deuteronomy 2:14) He had been waiting for his exodus from his wilderness for such a long time, feeling a mixture of hope and despair. I’m sure that it was the primary lens through which he saw himself. It was his identity.

Second, he is asked a question that, on some level, had the potential to rock his identity. “Do you want to be healed?” or put another way: “Do you want to have a different identity?” I also learned that in ancient Israel, begging was considered a worthwhile occupation. So, when Jesus asked this man if he wanted to be healed, he may as well have been asking him, “Do you want to have to go look for a different means of supporting your family and yourself?”

Third, he had to act in faith and choose to walk away from that. Ponder that for a moment. You have not been able to walk or move your legs for almost 4 decades. You are sitting next to a pool surrounded by a huge group of other people who are sick or handicapped. A larger crowd of people is working their way through the gate when one of them steps your way. You’ve never seen him before, as he approaches and poses a question. One of the footnotes in my bible reads- “Jesus is asking him if he was ready to abandon how he saw himself and receive the faith to be made well.”

How would you reply to that question? Your reply would stem from your limited view of what it means to be well, and that is how the man responds.

What Jesus says next is unambiguous, leaving no room to be misunderstood: “Stand up!”

At that precise moment, you have two options. Stand (or try to) or ignore Jesus. You can stay with that identity, or risk forming a new one. This man didn’t waste time. He was up and walking, and probably laughing, crying, and expressing a lot of other emotions all at the same time.

What does this story communicate to us… today? There are 4 things to take away:

First, what is your identity?

Are you a:

            Parent, teacher, salesperson, maintenance worker, athlete, couch potato, Christian, Muslim, atheist, co-struggler, addict, the list can go on and on.

What is the basis on which your identity is formed today? Is it healthy and on solid footing, or is it broken?

Second, “Do you want to be healed?” Would you be willing, if the Master asked, to step away from the familiar; to give up the comfortable, the easy?

Third: If the Master asked you, would you be willing to step out and develop a new identity? Yes, there is a large amount of risk getting away from what is comfortable. Years ago, a friend of mine commented that “Sometimes our identity, or at least the one we portray to those around us, is kind of like my favorite old t-shirt. Yes, it’s comfortable and well-loved, but it’s also stained and full of holes. We may think that it is covering ourselves, but more often than not, it’s quite see-through.” I’m pretty sure it’ll be different but better than where you are now.

Fourth, and this is the one I find the most disheartening, when you are set free from something, not everyone will be happy. Later on in the text, when they encounter the man, the Jewish leaders are not happy, but when they find out the Source of his healing, their displeasure is directed at Jesus. Sadly, this remains true today. When you are set free, and as your identity changes, some people will be displeased with Jesus, but some will be displeased with you. Not just those you’re associated with, but sometimes friends and family. For example, I know a man when he was set free from an addiction, his spouse preferred him the way he was before.

Next week, I’ll pose an idea that may cause a bit of a tremor in your identity, but for this week, I’ll challenge you to ponder the three questions above.  

We’ll talk again. Don’t die.